If you know me, you would know that I live, breathe, and dream RezLife. It has been my area of service and ministry for the past three years. Being an RA and CA has been a vital part of my college experience, and RezLife has contributed to my personal growth and transformation in more ways than you could ever imagine (seriously, you would never guess). It would be a dream to continue serving this program, and it would be such a blessing to stay in the community that I have come to love so dearly. With graduation just six weeks away, the end is near, and college is quickly coming to a close. Assistant Resident Director positions have opened in RezLife and interviews are beginning. Change is coming. And this e-mail explains where I’m at.

Charlie and Jen,

My decision to apply for the position of Assistant Resident Director stems from the incredible personal growth I have experienced being a part of this department for the past three years. Prior to working with Residence Life my personal and professional life looked quite differently than it does now. With each year that has passed, with each walkabout experience, each staff, each RD, and each unique set of residents I have learned and grown through various challenges. Despite how appealing this position appears to be from the job description, the reality is that it is incredibly difficult. The past three years with Residence Life have been three of the most difficult and stretching. However, they have also been three of the most joyous years of my life. The ethos of Residence Life has transformed my view of community, encouraging me to embrace transparency and vulnerability and strive for a way to relate and love others as a result of our common humanity. Each year I have learned to utilize my gifts and strengths in new ways. I have also gained insight about certain areas of growth, which has challenged me to further convert my areas of weakness. And by the grace of God and the love from this professional staff, I have been challenged and affirmed in ways that exceed articulation.

Yet, my experience has not just transformed my personal life. Throughout my time as a Resident Advisor and Community Advisor, I have become very familiar with university policies, learned the art of peer-to-peer mediation, mastered the details of event programming, cultivated staff development, advanced conflict management skills, mentored students, fostered spiritual development, built friendships, and gained necessary time management skills. Upon learning about the opening of Assistant Resident Director, interest was sparked immediately. I am confident that my work, education, volunteer, and leadership experience has trained and equipped me to be an excellent candidate for this position. Everything about the position sounds appealing, and even knowing the difficulty and demands, the passion for this position and student life continues. Because of my deep love for this department and deep respect for the programs and relationships it supports, I would absolutely, without a doubt, LOVE to be a part of that! I have benefited greatly from this department, and it would be an honor to be able to further invest and serve this program, contributing to the advancement of this department and to the continuation of student development.

However, despite my deep respect and desire to continue to serve in Residence Life, I have made the decision to withdraw my resume from Assistant Resident Director. This may come as a surprise, but if there are a few things I have learned from my three years in RezLife it is this. Vulnerability is invaluable, uncertainty is unavoidable, and control is not necessary, but trusting in God is. The Lord has provided wonderful opportunities, all of which were completely unknown and unplanned. Doors were opened, decisions were made, and many times I questioned what I would face once I walked through the entrance. Yet, God blessed me with the strength I needed to walk through each door, to face each experience, to ride the roller coaster, and enjoy the ride. Applying for ARD is a brilliant opportunity. The position would be a gift. But at this point it would leave me in the same room within the same construction of the home I have built for the past four years. As comfortable as home is, it is time for me to move forward, to take what I have learned at this home and share it with others. In six short weeks I will walk across that stage, not knowing where I will be in September, but I will move forward looking for new doors with all the courage I can muster to take a step, make decisions, and enter the unknown with the hope of sharing how I have learned and grown throughout my time at APU. And most of that is thanks to you.

So thank you for your hard work and dedication to this program. To committing your lives to investing in students like me. For extending me the opportunity to serve this department and student body for three beautiful years. For believing in me and encouraging me to always move forward. Maybe someday our paths will cross again. But until then, this is the beginning of a bittersweet goodbye.

Love,

Elisa

This chapter is closing. It is inevitable. But cheers to moving forward into uncertainty, new challenges, new locations, new community, but with the same love. This is the first step towards post-graduate life.

You become important when you stop trying to be important.

My life is yours.

My hope is in you only.

My heart you hold.

You make this sinner holy.

Holy.

Your glory is so beautiful.

I fall onto my knees in awe.

The heartbeat of my life is to worship in your light.

Because Your glory is so beautiful.

My life is yours.

My hope is in you only.

My heart you hold.

You make this sinner holy.

Holy.

Your glory is so beautiful.

I fall onto my knees in awe.

The heartbeat of my life is to worship in your light.

Because Your glory is so beautiful.

Glory.

Hallelujah.

Jesus, you are good.

Because your glory is so beautiful.

I fall onto my knees in awe.

The heartbeat of my life is to worship in your light.

—Your Glory, All Sons & Daughters

YES.

I

have 

been…

hoping

praying

waiting

wishing

.

I am not a big fan of television. I do not own one and I do not take the time to watch the programs. Unless, of course, someone I visit happens to have it on and find something thoroughly entertaining. That is what happened last night. My RD had never seen this show ‘mobbed’ but asked a couple girls on the staff to watch it with her. We entertained her and began to watch. Little did I know that I was about to waste thirty minutes of my life, which I will never get back, but I also did not know the ridiculousness of some of the aspects of American culture that I was about to watch via ‘mobbed’.

In a short amount of time, I watched two brothers get reunited by a flash mob. Yes, a flash mob. I wish I were joking, but it’s true. The show pulled together this elaborate dance mob, concert, and lathered some guy with gifts, all for ten seconds where his brother was given a platform to say, “I’m sorry”.

Well I am sorry, too. Sorry that our generation cannot communicate effectively enough and is forced or even inclined to use a dance mob for an apology, that people actually watch this stuff and consider it entertainment, and that so many hours, money, and energy is wasted on such a trivial issue. Meanwhile, I can think of a specific 10,000 people whose lives would radically change had they been given the opportunity to benefit from the use of that money. They could have potentially had a life supply of their HIV/AIDS treatment, fixed their houses that are in inhumane living conditions, paid for a taxi to take an ill person to the clinic, provided food for their family for over a year, paid for the education of hundreds of students, or paid the debt they owe for having to bury their too-young-to-die children from a preventable disease.

So while I was sitting on the couch watching this television show, I could not help but get angry and frustrated when I am in a position that desperately desires to find a way to help the people of Haniville, and all that is lacking is funding. And then I see money wasted on the most extravagant, unnecessary things. How can we as a society, or at least the couple thousand involved in the production of this show and these dance mobs, become unified over a dance or a simple apology statement between two brothers, yet we fail to unify over the fact that there are people dying in this world and we HAVE the ability to help them, we just choose not to? It does not make sense.

To be more alive today than I was yesterday.

To strive not to merely survive the normal Monday routine, but to do it well. To smile like Bhekimuzi… with such a strong conviction that the joy in my soul is a result of the truth of God and a reflection of God’s goodness.

May it be so.

This season can be best described by one word, weird.

It is thrilling and terrifying all at once, but more than anything I find myself frequently saying it is simply weird. It is strange to be in a place where I want to be present and enjoy the last few months of college, and live it up while it lasts. Yet, at the same time, my mind floats off and dreams of the future, trying to discern what that may look like, where I may be and what I may be doing. It is a constant tug of war between now and the future. So much is up in the air, and all of it is still to be discovered. It is exciting. It is, indeed.

I am ready for this new chapter. While I am nervous about all of the uncertainty, I cannot wait to embrace a new season of life. It will be interesting to see what happens.

Until then, I will return to the reality of my last semester of college, back to mundane task of spanish homework.

100 days until graduation. Yikes!